a bird’s shadow streaks

Written by David Goncalves on July 29, 2011 – 11:46 am

a bird’s shadow streaks
followed now by another
yellow window shade

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GUNS Demotivator

Written by David Goncalves on November 15, 2010 – 10:45 am

When really hot chicks aren't enough to get you hard any more.

Thanks to David K for his flawless implementation of my inspiration.

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My RSVP

Written by David Goncalves on March 25, 2010 – 8:04 am

Invitation

"I am inclined to state my preference for doing something else that sounds on the surface to be even more unpleasant than accepting your invitation, but such a thing does not exist."

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Letter of Recommendation

Written by David Goncalves on March 24, 2010 – 6:58 am

To Whom It May Concern,

It is a profound pleasure to write this letter of recommendation on behalf of [_____ ______].   Mr. [______] and I have been colleagues and friends for almost 15 years.  I met [_______] because at the time we had the same therapist, and she thought I was a good fit for the job he was leaving – a position for which I was indeed accepted.  Even though his attempts at self-employment met with failure (and surprisingly quickly, for him ) it was a blessing of sorts when he came back to work, and I really got a chance to know him.

It wasn’t long before we were sad to have  [_______] quit again and go to work for a large company, whose subsequent famous and catastrophic implosion was, I am certain, merely coincidental. After that debacle,  it was our pleasure to welcome him back into the fold once again.

[_______] was an incredibly resilient worker, being quite productive despite the disintegration of his burgeoning career,  marriage, and (not unexpectedly) his mental health.   In the ensuing years, we grew to be good friends and trusted compatriots, waxing philosophic over elegance vs. pragmatics, and reflecting on the idiocy of our employer.  It had been my pleasure to do all of that over a few beers until his DWI conviction brought that to an end. That also was a blessing of sorts, since he now can remember most of our conversations.

Luckily, his ankle bracelet also was less of a distraction to his fellow employees than I had originally been concerned it might be, since the shapeless bagginess of his clothing more or less would allow him to smuggle anything in or out of the building at any time.

In all seriousness, [_____]’s eccentric fashion sense is actually a plus, since customers find his choice of garb enchantingly ingenuous. Once you realize that his shabby appearance is not necessarily concomitant with poor hygiene, you will decide that he is actually quite presentable, and you will feel comfortable taking him on business trips to “wow” the clients with his “geek speak.”

In fact, [_____] is quite sociable considering his crippling anxiety, and he has coped with this by developing a highly evolved and sophisticated sense of humour, which I believe is probably quite funny.  Although some perceive his commentary as sarcastic, insensitive, or insulting, the vast majority of customers are instead dazzled by his vocabulary and syntax, and ultimately get lost by his oblique observations of the situation at hand.  Sometimes it appears he is speaking in non-sequiturs, but mostly people get the feeling that they just aren’t smart enough to keep up. You likely will be too.

What you will be left with, however, is an incredible confidence in the powers of his intellect, his authoritative grasp of the situation, and even if you don’t understand it, you will be more than willing to leave him to his own devices, to do what needs to be done, even if sometimes it appears that he is just sleeping in his car.

Frankly, I don’t know precisely what [_____] has been up to here for the past seven or eight years. In fact, I’m not quite sure how long he’s been here this time around. But I do know that we are still in business, unlike his last employer, and that’s what matters to me.  [_____] will be missed terribly, and I am sure that he will dazzle you as he has the rest of us.

Sincerely,

David M. Goncalves
General Manager
[________________]

PS: I encourage you to keep this letter in [_____]’s permanent record, so if he perchance abandons his post with you, as is his wont, then you can consult the return address here and send him back and we will be happy to take him in again.  However, on the off chance that I am unemployed at that time, however, consider that I may be available fill in for him once again. We can leave our therapist out of it this time.
-dmg

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I was sitting in the car, and the song came on the radio.

Written by David Goncalves on March 23, 2010 – 11:15 am

I was sitting in the car, and the song came on the radio.

I had never listened to it before, and there it was: plain as day.

Even now it kind of washes over me;

Then the phrase passed through my mind:

“I’m searching for something simple to say to let you know who I am”

I’m feeling peculiar.

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I really meant that.

Written by David Goncalves on March 3, 2010 – 10:23 am

Meant what he said.It’s not a Freudian slip if it’s intentional.

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Hard to believe sometimes

Written by David Goncalves on January 31, 2010 – 12:04 pm

No single moment in and of itself is unendurable.

–David Foster Wallace

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Inspiration Fail

Written by David Goncalves on January 11, 2010 – 3:38 pm

Inspirational banners of words trace around the upper margin of the walls at Shikellamy High School (Sunbury, PA).
Excellence Fail
It seems a shame to post this after receiving such great hospitality from our hosts, but my journalistic -slash- sadistic side prevailed.

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The recipe for pain relief

Written by David Goncalves on December 31, 2009 – 6:02 am

Nina was complaining of a sore wrist this morning. Maybe she slept on it wrong. I said “Let’s get you some Advil and see how you feel in a little bit.” and she replied:

“Remember the recipe: Advil, water, Advil, water, ice cream, gingerbread head”

Whatever it takes, honey.

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Ruby on Rails on Bluehost

Written by David Goncalves on December 29, 2009 – 10:21 pm

Finally got Rails working with not a little help from these links:

http://helpdesk.bluehost.com/index.php/kb/article/207

I deviated from the preceding instructions a bit. Rather than generating a scaffold, I uploaded my existing application and then did a

rake db:schema:load

command followed by

rake db:migrate

Also I made the little mistake of trying to install paperclip from within my bash prompt, rather than using the Bluehost control panel to do it . That worked better. Plus I needed to do this stuff:

http://helpdesk.bluehost.com/index.php/kb/article/000365

http://www.bluehostforum.com/showthread.php?t=16349

Also, although I did not need to do everything from here

http://6brand.com/application-error-rails-app-failed-to-start-properly.html

I did benefit from  the command

$ tail -n 100 log/development.log

At this point, it almost goes without saying that  I could not have done it in twice the time without help from my good friend and colleague  David Kilmer.

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